Usually called the doctor. Or the caretaker.

Blueberry bread pudding

Let most of a loaf of boring white bread go badly stale after carefully squishing it on the way home from the grocery store and eating only those slices which remain roughly square as sandwiches. Remove the heels. Cut the sliced bread into large cubes, about an inch square.

Butter an 11x7 baking dish and set aside.

In a large bowl, mix 3 eggs, 3 c milk, 1 c sugar, and 2 tsp vanilla extract. Pour cubed bread into this mixture and stir well, absently considering some knotty philosophical problem. This is best done with a large Ikea fork from the set called "Bonus", for obvious reasons. Look down and realise you have destroyed the bread. Shrug and leave it alone to soak for ten minutes or so. Return and stir it again, breaking up all the large lumps of bread with the fork. Stir in about a cup and a half of blueberries.

Pour into the buttered baking dish and bake at 350°F for about an hour or until the top is golden but not burnt. Remove from oven and allow to cool. It will be very poofy until it cools.

Eat after it has chilled and preferably sat in the fridge overnight.